Free Styling the Mind; A New Post for a New Purpose.

So I have recently decided that for a while at least, the posts will basically be like a diary.  A semi-raw version of what goes on in my head, my thoughts, fears, dreams, etc, and what goes on during my day to create such thoughts, or how I deal with them.

Keeping a journal has always been helpful to me, but then it dawned on me, why should I put it all down in a journal when I can put it all down on here.  This is like two birds/one stone.  Besides, I am pretty sure that I am not the only one that thinks the things I do, or acts the way I act about certain things.  You know what?  I think that is okay, and maybe you should know that you are not the only one that does or thinks certain things.

I currently have my hands in a few different baskets, and that can make me into a basket case.  I am looking for a new job, I am trying to keep the blog up and running on a more regular basis, and I have an Etsy shop (www.etsy.com/shop/ColtsBones).  That is just the business side of me. Financially, I have incurred some debt that I am slowly but surely paying off (no mom, I do not wish to talk about it), as a mother, I am constantly wondering if I am doing the right thing by letting him stay up for fifteen extra minutes, or saying no to desert because he didn't finish his chicken.

Today is a good day though, I feel on top of it (life), and that means, hopefully, things will get accomplished today.  I have a very small to do list, which I have learned is the way to go, and a bigger task list.  In the last seven days, I have been able to keep the to do list in check and have even crossed five things off of the task list.  Crossing things off, deleting them, what ever for the list is in, it is empowering!  First, I know that I completed something, and second, I no longer have the mental burden of it needing to be completed.  This gives me the motivation to do more, and when I have come to the point I cannot do anymore for what ever reason, I actually feel good and want to reward myself with a movie, or something special to eat, sometimes, it is something as silly as a new lip gloss (which I am addicted to possibly)!  What ever the reward, it is rewarding to know that the list is shorter because I completed something.

Whether in a manic episode, or depressed, completing things is sometimes impossible.  It seems like something so simple: clean the litter box, wash the dishes....  but in a depressed state, these things seem nearly impossible to accomplish.  In a manic state, you just keep putting it off because so many other things distract you.  It is a no-win situation some days, so I just cross my fingers and hope that tomorrow is a better day, a "normal" day.

I am happy to say that posting this post is on the task list, so I can cross something off as completed!  I think this has earned me a mini bag of Cheetos!