Well
look at me go! Even though I have a new posting schedule, this is
the second post I am writing today. Now that I am all organized and have
my ducks in the same pond (I have given up on having them in a row), I feel
empowered and ready to accomplish anything! That anything today is going
to be telling you about my support system and how important they are to
me.
My
support system changes every so often, or people’s roles change, but for the
most part, my family has been the base of it. They have helped me
emotionally and financially through the downs, and were there to celebrate the
ups.
My mom
is still my mom, and even though I am 38 years old, she still calls to make
sure I am doing okay and taking my meds (she is adorable). She is always
telling me about something she read on the internet about Bipolar Disorder and
wondering if I have heard of it or tried it before. If I tell
her that I am going to try something new, like a vitamin or whatever, she
always follows up with me about it. She also buys me coloring
books. That is probably the coolest thing. And it is always
random-they just arrive in the mail with a note saying something like-“Saw this
and thought of you! Love, Mom.” I mean, how can you just not love that?
My aunt
is pretty much the same way, always there. She will send me random text
messages just to say hi, or see if I am available to talk-I talk to both her
and mom about once a week. We can gab till all hours of the night if it
weren’t for work. She loves to hear about everything that is going on in
life and I love to hear about everything going on in hers since we do not have
the chance to see each other often. We are probably each other’s biggest
supporter.
My
brother is great because, like me, he also understands that sometimes you do
not want to be cheered up, but want someone to say “Fuck it all” with you “Piss
on them.” I mean, if you do not work through and embrace your feelings,
what is the point? He is also really good at distracting me from any woes
I may be feeling.
I could
go on all day about the friends I lean on, the family that helps me out, but
that is not what I really want to get at. What I want to get at is why I
think it is so important you have a support system. Everyone needs a
support system; everyone. Whether they realize it or not, people at one point
or another require some sort of human interaction to help them. This may
be a coworker’s opinion on a project, or even a “Great job, Danielle!” when you
get an “A” on a paper you were excited about. Those with mental disorders
need a support system to survive sometimes.
Me, I
require a lot of support. I have my friends, family, boyfriend, I am in
some groups online, have a psychiatrist, and a therapist. This might seem
like over-kill for some, and it probably is. Only you can know how much
is enough support, or too little. If you have too little, when then we (I
mean you) need to change that.
I have
heard it all before, and I am guilty of it myself-people do not want to hear
about my problems; they have their own lives to worry about; they will think
different of me. Well let me tell you, if your friend/family member is
worth the title, then they DO care, and will not think different of
you. Those that do, just dump them, not worth the extra stress in your
life. When I started opening up to everyone about being bipolar, I found
that not only did I feel 1,000 pounds lighter, but everyone was extremely
supportive (except for my ex-husband). Some of my friends even
felt relieved because they wanted to talk about their own mental health and did
not want me to think they were crazy!
(I
just want you to know that I am on day three of writing this.)
My
friends are really understanding, especially one who I do a lot of things
with. If I start feeling overwhelmed, I can just tell her and we will go
to a quieter place so I can pull myself together. If that is not an
option, well then we just leave, and she is completely okay with that. If
she doesn’t hear from me for a couple of days, then I start getting text
messages that literally say “just checking up on you.”
My
friends and family did not turn their backs on me; they look up to me.
They tell me all of the time how proud they are for me; tell me they love me,
ask how they can help, empathize with me. I feel like I broke down a
wall, a wall that was keeping me locked away from everyone I cared about.
Now we have an open dialogue about mental health and we are trying to erase the
stigma, raise awareness, help each other, and help others. Are we going
to change the world? Probably not, but maybe!
No one
knows what you are going through until you tell them. Tell them.
They love you. They want to help. Show them articles that have
helped you, direct them to groups that you may think help them. If you do
not think you can tell them straight out, well, then write them a letter, or
send them an email! Hell, post it on Facebook! Just please, do not
hold it in. No good will come of it.
I put a
few resources at the end, but check back periodically (or subscribe!), because
I plan on doing more on resources.
Resources:
- · National Alliance on Mental Illness
- · Depression & Bipolar Support Alliance
- · Your local library
- · Your local Health Department
- · Power of Positivity (Facebook page)
- · Mental Health on The Mighty (Facebook page)
- · Depression & Life (Facebook page)
- · International Bipolar Foundation (Facebook page)
- · Bipolar/Depression/Anxiety Open Page (Facebook page)
- · Mental Health America (Facebook page)
- · BP Magazine for Bipolar (Facebook page)
- · Bipolar Disorder-Newlifeoutlook (Facebook page)
- · My Depression Team
- · BPD Pieces of Me (Facebook page)
- · Bipolar Awareness ~ Stop the Stigman (Facebook page)
I did not include links because I think searching for them may lead you to find something that may help you that is not listed.
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