So what is more important; the heart or the brain? Which do you sacrifice for the sake of the other? Do you allow your brain to plummet into darkness and uncertainty so the heart can be happy? Or do you allow your heart to break, knowing that it will eventually heal, to free your brain from its torment, maybe.
If I chose the brain, the heart will break and the brain may heal. If I chose the heart, the brain will continue to suffer and the heart may eventually break. The situation which puts me into this dilemma is of my own doing, of course, and unfortunately, it will effect more than just me no matter what I decide. But honestly, which is more important when you borderline madness on a daily basis?
A heart, such a valuable, vital organ, that we foolishly associate with love, and of course heartache, why do we hold love to such a high value? I will not lie, I love being in love, I love everything about it, the comfort and companionship, the intimacy and softness. What is not to love about love? Always having a smile on your face, blushing while sneaking a text; I could go on for ever. But is it worth it; worth losing what little sanity and control of your brain that you have left?
The brain, the organ that controls everything, including the heart. How could you say it is less important? How could you say that the thing that makes the heart skip a beat when you see him, how can that be less important? What price does one who is bipolar have to pay to be in love in my circumstance? Do I chose to continue living in this madness, watching my mental capacity diminish to have those happy moments, that are actually becoming less and less because of this insanity?
I just do not know what to do. That is not true, I do know what I need to do, but I am sure I am going to destroy myself for love instead.
